Let me say the inside words out loud: your kids probably don’t want your commercial building. They just want the money!

You spent 25 years paying down that mortgage. You renovated it. You made memories there. Maybe you built your entire business there. It’s natural that you might have thoughts of it staying in the family. But don’t be mad.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned after 23 years in the Northern Virginia commercial real estate business: what feels like a generous inheritance to you might feel like an overwhelming responsibility to your children. And that’s not a reflection on your kids or your legacy. It’s just reality.

The Conversation Nobody Wants to Have

I’ve sat across the table from many Northern Virginia commercial property owners who assume their children will want to take over the family property, but they have never asked. Most of the time, the kids want the money but not the risk and responsibility. Not because they don’t appreciate what their parents built. But because managing commercial real estate doesn’t fit into their life plans, career paths, or retirement goals. They only saw the money that flowed from the property when they were younger, not the work you put into it. I like to say that second-generation owners often see the asset as a cash register, not something that has to be nurtured.

Why the Next Generation Sees Things Differently

Your children probably have their own careers—careers that have nothing to do with real estate. Millennials and some Gen-X’ers are rewriting the playbook on inheritance, focused on priorities like digital assets, flexibility, and making sure their lives reflect their values.

Here’s what I hear from adult children:

• “I don’t know how to manage commercial property. My parents always handled it by themselves”
• “I live in a different city or state.”
• “I have my own financial goals.”
• “The tax implications scare me.”
• “I prefer flexibility to property ownership.”
• “This Isn’t About Love. It’s About Lifestyle.”

Let me be crystal clear: When your kids say they don’t want the building, they’re not rejecting you or your legacy. They’re being honest about what kind of life they want to live. And honestly? That’s healthy.

I’ve seen families struggle with inherited commercial property. The adult child is not good at managing it or feels guilty for not wanting it. Everyone ends up frustrated, and the property becomes a source of stressful income for multiple generations.

The Multiple Owner Problem Gets Even Messier

Here’s where things get really complicated: What happens when your commercial property gets divided among multiple children who then have their own families?

Three kids inherit one-third interests each. Fast forward 10 years:

• One child is divorced, and their ex-spouse is claiming an interest in the property
• Another child has passed away, and now their spouse and children own that third
• The third child is going through financial difficulties and wants to sell immediately

Now you don’t have three owners—you potentially have six, eight, or even ten people with competing interests, different financial situations, and zero emotional attachment to the property that meant so much to you.  The complications multiply exponentially and major decision requires consensus. Good luck getting eight people to agree on anything.

• The financial burden hits different for each family member. Some owners can afford capital calls for a new roof or HVAC system. Others can’t.
• Forced buyouts and lawsuits-legal fees.
• Family relationship destruction.

The most heartbreaking part? The parents who left the property thought they were creating a family asset that would bring everyone together. Instead, they created a source of conflict that tears the family apart.

Don’t Fall In Love With Your Property

A building or asset can represent years of your life. You remember buying it, renovating it, building your business there. Maybe you raised your kids on the income from that property.

Your building was a tool that helped you build wealth and security. It served its purpose beautifully. But now, as you approach retirement, it’s time to ask: Is this property still serving your family’s best interests, or has it become a responsibility your children don’t want?

The Better Conversation

Don’t build your retirement plan around assumptions you’ve never tested. Have the conversation now. Not when you’re ready to retire. Not when you’re hospitalized. Now.

Sit down with your children and ask:

• “Do you want this property, or would you prefer something else?”
• “If you inherited this building, what would you do with it?”
• “Would liquid assets be more useful for your financial goals?”
• “Are you prepared to manage commercial real estate, or would that stress you out?”
• “Should we trade the asset into a fully net-leased property with no management?”

Practical Alternatives That Work for Everyone

1. Sell the property and create liquid inheritance. This is often the cleanest solution. Sell the building, pay the capital gains tax and convert it to cash or diversified investments. One client sold his Alexandria office building and used the proceeds to set up a trust that pays his children quarterly distributions. They get steady income without any landlord responsibilities.
2. Use a 1031 Exchange to trade into passive income. If you want to keep real estate in the family but eliminate management hassles, consider exchanging your property for a triple-net-leased asset. Think of a Walgreens or FedEx distribution center where the tenant handles everything and just sends you a check every month.
3. Sell now and gift the proceeds during your lifetime. Why wait until you’re gone? Sell the property and help your kids when they actually need it—buying their first home, starting a business, or paying off debt. You get to see the impact of your generosity, and they get help when it matters most.
4. Create a clear disposition plan in your estate documents to sell the building upon your passing and receive the stepped-up basis for significantly lower capital gains taxes

The Bottom Line

Your commercial property was a smart investment. It helped you build wealth, fund your business, and create financial security. That’s something to be proud of.

But as you think about retirement and legacy, ask yourself this: Am I leaving my children an asset they want, or a responsibility they’ll resent?  The most generous thing you can do is have the conversation now—while you still have time to adjust your plan, minimize taxes, and create an inheritance that actually serves your family’s needs. Because at the end of the day, legacy isn’t about the assets you leave behind. It’s about the freedom, security, and opportunities you create for the people you love.

If you are a Northern Virginia commercial property owner approaching retirement? Let’s talk about creating a plan that honors your hard work while setting your children up for success—without the stress.  You can reach me at (703) 836-6558 @thecrebroker on IG

-Mike Porterfield, Principal Broker